3rd wheeling in bangkok

The first portion of my trip was in Bangkok, Thailand's capitol and it's most populated city. Bangkok has everything: subway systems, shopping malls, food from all over the world, and every kind of entertainment imaginable. It's 1 part Vegas, 1 part New York, with a splash of Tijuana and a fuck you gimme you're money garnish. It can be loads of fun but it can also pick your pocket and leave you with nothing but memories of ping pong balls and nitrous balloons. 

I stayed with a friend who lives in Bangkok who was kind enough to put me up while she was off in Laos renewing her Visa. I set out by myself on my first full day with the intention to see a few Wats (Thai Temples) and wander on foot outside of the metropolitan area to see how the people of Bangkok lived. On the way I met a couple who I ended up spending the next two days with. I was nominated the proverbial 3rd wheel. 

She had springy short dark hair, smooth tan skin, a nose ring, and a pretty summer dress. He had long dreads, a warm smile, and soft blue eyes. Her A’s belong to the crows- a Midwesterner. She had a henna tattoo and several silver rings with stones that have meanings and associations that I would never understand. He was calm, reserved, and had a careful demeanor. She was cool, open, and funny, the kind of girl who can hang with the boys and talk shit. In his scene he is used to knowing more than the next guy. In her scene, in Ohio, she is a big fish in a small pond. People frequently ask her what is up, and what her plans are. He sometimes wonders if she will leave him if he cuts off his dreads. 

They had quit their jobs and were traveling through Asia with pit stops at places they had reserved work-away and WWOOF stays. They planned on farming and helping with green building projects. 

After hitching up we went to Wat Pho where the giant golden reclining Buddha well... reclines. In the 1700's King Rama II built three spires inside Wat Pho in his name. It is said that he did so to try to achieve enlightenment. The rejection of materialism and the self must have been lost on him. Next we went to Wat Arun, the temple of the dawn. Wat Arun is a series of steep spires made up of millions of small ceramic tiles. If you want to blast your quads you can give them a climb as long as you're willing to step over quivering tourists and crying children. The view of Bangkok is 360 degrees and it's downright stunning.

That night we rounded off the day of temple worship with some drinks on Khoa San Rd. This is where tourists like us go to drink, eat scorpions, throw chairs, party, and suck on nitrous balloons while they hump each other in the street. Keep your wallets close if you go there, and don't drink anything that's handed to you unless you see it poured. I heard more than one story of someone waking up in an alley wearing someone else's clothes with their belongings missing. We managed to have a good time without mishap though. Sometimes, if you step lightly enough, you can walk on hot coals without getting burned.

Bangkok Day 1

I became the 3rd wheel for two different hippy couples (pattern?) Had a $10 massage, rode on a disco party tuk tuk, ate several pounds of pad thai on the street, climbed Wat Arun, saw the reclining Buddha, took a boat ride through the old canals, got lost in the slums, drank foul Bangkok rum with an old thai rocker, went to a sex show where a grandma drew pictures with a sharpie in her ass, narrowly escaped a situation in the red light district, and got wasted at a gay bar.  

The beginning

Thirty hours of travel.
Bangkok airport.
Smile at the customs agent.
Get a new sim card.
Exchange for Baht (1/32 ratio)

This is the beginning. 

Get a taxi ticket for lane 35.
Lane 35 is empty.
A car backfires. 

The car is bubble gum pink.
The car has a ghetto rigged hood scoop and racing stickers.
The car pulls into lane 35. 

This is my cab.
This is a teenage girl’s wet dream. 

My driver is not a teenage girl.
My driver is a jolly round man with deep creases in his face and twinkling eyes.
My driver does not allow pets, fire arms, or dinosaurs in his cab.
My driver’s giggles sound like loose change in your pocket.  

There is no sex allowed in the cab.
This is indicated by a prohibitive sticker.
I ask if it’s just missionary that isn’t allowed.
It gets lost in translation.  

We are the slowest car on the highway.
The hood scoop, racing stripes, and bumper kit are all for show.

It doesn’t bother me.
You can’t hate on a guy who giggles like that.

This is just the beginning. 

home for the weekend

My dad is standing in the doorway with his hands raised incredulously.

“There’s a noise coming from the cupboard in the kitchen.”

He is almost 80 and somehow his hearing seems to be getting better. My mom appears at his side and grasps his pants with a tug.

“It’s probably the wind. Your zipper’s down again.”
“What?”

She shakes her head at me. Together, we have experienced over the years, his propensity to disregard proper zipper protocol.  

“He goes and talks with old ladies in the street with his zipper down.”
“What’s that?”

Whether he is trying to be funny or if he actually can’t hear her is unclear to us.  

“They might report you.” She says with one final tug.
“For what?”
“Being indecent.”

He holds up his hands again and shrugs. Somehow his shrugging has pulled up his pant legs way past his ankles.  

“I’m an old man in the dry season just waiting for rain.” 

Neither of us gets what he means.
When I ask him about it later he can’t remember what he said.