I finally spoke to Laura. She said on one hand there was a lot of pain and heartache, from my dad not knowing me on Christmas, to my breakup, to my becoming the head of the family. On the other hand she said there is a narrative of a hero standing up for what he believes in, standing up for himself and his values.
Harm reduction. Protect ya neck.
I just watched Gus van sants Last Days again. The real-time, slice of life, scenes are calming to me. Like the pace of real life when we are alone. I could breathe again in those scenes despite their sordid content.
The film opens on a man wandering the woods looking for his heroin stash. And yet still, there’s a dark purity to his mission and the way it is told on-screen. A man seeking relief from pain. A singular mission.
I dream of a place where we can meet.
A place where you are comfortable with silence. Where we might sit in each other’s arms and watch shooting stars
A place where you can take refuge in healing practices so when the weight of the past is too heavy you have a light to shine through the dark.
A place where the past and future don’t matter, where the present is most potent.
Meet me in a place like that, whoever you are.
On the other side of here.
Eternal yet unreal